One reason I've been so quiet

I've been feeling a lot like this (click to enlarge):

And while part of me knows that I'm not a horrible mother, I have been snapping at my kids all the time. And I hate that, and am trying to fix it, but sometimes that involves me retreating into myself. Also, it involves actually convincing myself that I'm not actually a horrible mother.

Gratuitous kid cuteness

Because I need some more cuteness today, here's a video of my son from Monday, his fifth birthday.



He had a wonderful birthday, with lots of cake and presents and hyperactivity. And yes, he really did have alligator for dinner.

No, I'm not TRYING to be a cacafuego

I haven't been motivated to post lately. I've been sliding down into a deep dark pit of depression, and I was having a hard time pulling myself out of it. I go through this sometimes. I know it's just part of the up and down cycle that can be my depression, but it still sucks.

The past two days have been much better, thanks in large part to Sarah and chris who both have the amazing ability to make me smile and laugh no matter how crappy I feel. Twitter is also improving my mood - go sign up for it, follow me and Sarah and Doc and all. Y'all, we talk about boobs and great links and how Doc doesn't have a Sonic or Waffle House near him. Great times that you'll be missing if you don't join up!

I hadn't been swimming in over a week, either, which I don't think helped my mood. Amazing how quickly I got used to the exercise high I get. Just enforces my resolve to keep it up, though.

And, Andy has been spectacular this week. Letting me know he's there if I need him, but also giving me my space. Cheering me up with an early mother's day present of a personalized license plate. Getting mini chocolate souffles for us for dinner one night. Putting up with my pissiness. And singing "Boom de yada" at random points (check out that first link if you haven't yet - Mike Rowe goodness!). Because that always makes me happier. How can it not?

Oh, just in case your wondering what a cacafuego is, check out this list of 10 insulting words you should know.

Preschool Teachers are amazing

Yesterday, Kieran's class had a field trip to the zoo. His teacher is a MASTER of organization. She had bags put together for each group with a first aid kit, disposable camera, sunscreen, snacks, and other miscellanea. She had grouped the kids together with other kids they got along with, but wouldn't get too rambunctious together. Made sure the few kids that didn't have parents along were with groups that had extra parents.

Kieran LOVES the zoo, and we go about once a month or so. But yesterday seemed more tiring than normal. I think it was keeping up with 3 boys and being social with two mothers I didn't know before yesterday. I get tired being "on" even sometimes with people I know well. I don't know how Kieran's teachers keep up with the WHOLE CLASS every day. Whatever they're paid, it's not nearly enough.

Or maybe it was tiring just from the sheer volume of people around. I think most of Tuscaloosa County schools were there yesterday. There were at least 10 Tuscaloosa County school buses in the parking lot, and at least one private school from the county there that didn't use buses. Crazy number of people.

The kids got to experience an educational program at the zoo, where a zoo educator brought three animals to show them and talk about. I may be biased after doing things like this as my job, but while she wasn't bad she wasn't very good, at least for this age group. She's probably used to working with older kids. She'd ask questions that were well beyond a 5 year old's grasp. Plus, I think she might have been sick. But, I like that she was trying to engage the kids in her talk, and was fairly patient with them. The kids still enjoyed it, and got to pet a baby alligator.

Exciting things since the last time we were there - the butterflies have opened for the season, and the new kangaroo exhibit was open. It was too cold for the joey to be out, but we did see some adult 'roos hopping around. And I'm such a sucker - I got a stuffed kangaroo mom and joey for Ginny. Way too much money, but SO CUTE.

I forgot my camera, but hopefully we'll get some copies of the pictures the teacher took and from the disposable camera. Overall, a great day.

On a side note, they finally reverted R M Scrushy Pkwy back to Lloyd Noland Pkwy. Took 'em long enough.